For men, using online dating sites is a great way to meet women and minimize potential rejection. But there are important dos and don'ts to successful online dating that you can't afford to ignore. Let's take a look at the best methods of making first contact with a woman on dating sites.

1. It is important to remember that in North America and Western Europe, dating is a buyer's market, and the buyer is definitely the woman! Women effectively "shop" for a man they are interested in online, and it is up to the man to "sell himself" (it is interesting to note that this phenomenon does not hold true in other societies, especially those that have a lower man-to-woman ratio).

If you are shy or lack confidence, you may not be as comfortable "selling" yourself in such an overt way, but you should keep in mind that you have tons of competition, and you shouldn't be afraid of talking up your best qualities. This does not mean that you should incessantly brag, or talk about yourself too much; only that you should be comfortable pointing out your strong points.

2. If you are at all familiar with online dating sites, you will already be aware that your profile page is of paramount importance. Before contacting a woman online you should make certain that you are comfortable with your profile. It should highlight your best attributes, along with your interests and vitals.

It is also a good idea to be specific about what you're looking to get out of online dating. Are you interested in a long-term relationship, or are you more comfortable with casual dating and just having fun for now?

Many people treat their profile page like a job resume (CV): they exaggerate their physical attributes, income, social prowess and experiences. And while there's nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward, or even "spinning" the facts in a way that is favorable to you, you should never misrepresent yourself or lie in your dating profile — it will come back to haunt you sooner or later if you do.

3. Once you are sure your profile page is looking good, it's time to upload a good photo. Most people have a hard time deciding which photo of themselves to use. A good way to make this decision is to do a little "market research." Web sites such as "Hot or Not" allow you to upload multiple photographs, and let other people rate them.

This is a great way to find out which one of your photos "tests" better. Generally, whichever photo gets the highest rating is the one you should use on online dating sites, even if it's not the one you think is best! We can never see ourselves the way other people do, and most of us are far too critical to be objective about our looks anyway. Letting other people rate your photos solves this problem, and gives you a pretty good idea of how your photo will be perceived on dating sites.

4. Finally, it's time to contact a woman you are interested in dating on the site. A good rule of thumb is to keep your first contact light and humorous. Avoid talking or asking about heavy subjects such as politics or religion. Make a few remarks about her profile page, her interests, or anything you obviously have in common. Do not come on too strong or ask for a date in your first contact. This will just be seen as desperate, and desperation is not attractive to women!

Here's another huge no-no: when making first contact with a woman online, NEVER remark on her personal appearance. Women on online dating sites tend to get lots of scummy e-mails from guys who wear their hormones on their sleeve. Any comments you make about her appearance (especially comments of a sexual nature) will probably get your e-mail deleted right away, as she may assume you are just another creepy guy, hiding behind the anonymity of online dating.

If you follow these simple steps, finding an attractive woman to date online is much easier. Remember, from the moment you post your profile on any online dating site, you are "selling" yourself. Make sure that your profile page, your picture, and your behavior in contacting women for dates sends of the right message.

Finally there's a free dating site for singles who love to party!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 at 9:29 pm and is filed under Online. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.