Is Your Lack Of Self-Confidence Letting You Down? 8 Top Tips To Build You Back Up
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A serious lack of confidence can be crippling in life generally, and not least when it comes to job searching. Walk into an interview believing that you won't get the job and that is probably just what will happen. So, if you are not naturally Mr or Mrs Assertive, should you just give up? Absolutely not! You may not be able to change the habits of a lifetime overnight, but there are a few tricks that you can try to get you on the right track.
The trouble with poor self-confidence is that it comes from a basic attitude of mind, which in turn affects the way we behave. Whether our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us were instilled during childhood, or whether adult life has taken us on more than a few trips to the school of hard knocks, we can easily be left feeling that we are less than equal to others. Unfortunately, when our hearts and minds are telling us that we are less than worthy, our actions betray our feelings. In stressful situations such as a job interview, a lack of self-confidence can display itself in either of two ways we can either become too passive or too aggressive and of course neither of these is going to make the best impression.
At the end of the day, a serious lack of confidence will probably require that you search deep inside yourself to determine and examine the root cause and, in some cases you may need professional help to achieve this. You cannot just put your job search on hold in the meantime, however, so what can you do in the short term? Here are a few tips which, at the same time as making you appear to be more confident, will actually work to make you feel more confident if practiced regularly.
1. Watch your breathing
In stressful situations where the fight or flight mechanism kicks in, the tendency is to either hold your breath or start hyperventilating. Making a conscious effort to control your breathing will not only make you feel calmer, but it will also save you from the embarrassment of passing out on the floor of the interview room.
2. Be ever mindful of your body language
Poor body language can be a real giveaway that your self-confidence is low. Slouching, fidgeting and facing away from the interviewer will send a very clear signal that your confidence levels are not all that they could be. Practice good posture at all times so that it comes as second nature when you attend your next interview.
3. Give good eye contact
Failing to look people in the eye when you are talking to them not only demonstrates low levels of self-assurance, but can even look downright shifty. Practice giving good eye contact with your family, your friends and the guy at the local store and it will soon become less uncomfortable.
4. List your positive qualities
Because low self-esteem comes from our basic inner feelings of unworthiness, writing a list of the positive qualities that you possess, but mostly choose to overlook, can really help to give you a shot in the arm.
5. Say some affirmations
You may not think that standing in front of the bathroom mirror every morning repeating I am a strong and confident person or I love meeting new people or I react calmly when under pressure is the action of a sane person, or that it can work, but give it a try anyway. Saying the words out loud and writing them down really does help you to start believing something different about yourself.
6. Speak a little louder
Many people who lack confidence have a tendency to mumble. It's as though the fear of expressing an opinion or idea is so terrifying that they lower their tone to the extent that they can't really be heard, and therefore judged. Whilst there's no need to shout, again with friends and family to begin with, try practicing turning up the volume slightly. Your opinions and ideas do matter, but if you are unable to express them to an interviewer so that they can be heard, then you are not going to get that call-back.
7. Act as if
This is one of the simplest and yet most effective techniques there is and it works because gradually you begin to replace one set of behaviors with another. Fake it til you make it is another way of putting it, and all it entails is a bit of imagination and a spot of acting. Picture what it would feel like if you really were a confident person how you would behave and what you would say and then act as if you really were that person. You can either try it out with people that you trust, or with complete strangers that you are never going to see again.
8. Take it one step at a time
The habits of a lifetime can't be changed overnight and it is important to recognize this. Set yourself small goals, such as speaking to a complete stranger every day. It doesn't matter whether it's just to comment on the terrible rail service as you wait at the station or striking up a conversation with the guy sitting opposite you at the local diner. It is only with practice that the fear eventually subsides.
People who lack in self-confidence are generally extremely respectful of others, and in some cases too much so. Practice these simple techniques and watch how your self-respect grows, slowly but surely.
Wilson Chua
Integrity Career Transitions
info@integritycareertransitions.com
http://www.integritycareertransitions.com
750 South Shipyard Drive, Suite 300, Wilmington, Delaware 19801
Toll Free: 1-302-442-4100
Tel. No.: (302) 504-9960